The FenReview
A Booger
(17 Jul 2008)
Now, if I'm going to be critiquing anything that crosses my desk, I really should be fair. I have a schedule planned out for Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but Thursdays and Tuesdays I'm leaving open for free critiques as a sort of... contrast to, uh, the serious critiques.
Like, for instance, if I can successfully and constructively critique a booger I should be able to critique anything. Right? Yes, I know it's gross, but everybody's got 'em and this is in the name of journalism. Pretend I'm Mike Rowe.
Unfortunately, as you can see, today's booger is really just a little glob of clear snot sitting on my finger next to a meager collection of dry scraps from the inside of my nostril. We've just cleaned the apartment a week ago and I haven't been around a whole lotta dust, so there really isn't anything very interesting there. And - let me check - yep! It only tastes vaguely of salt and not much else. Not very offensive, but not thought provoking, either.
Clearly this thing is a product of a desperate soul, scraping the bottom of the nasal barrel during what appears to be a drought. In fact, the idea of calling it a booger in the first place is kind of - to borrow a word from an earlier critique - bold. Though perhaps not quite as debate provoking as Duchamp's Fountain. In fact, I'm not sure much more can be said.
However, I'd still like to leave my readers some advice concerning the booger. Say, if perhaps next time a booger is to be produced, what qualities should we keep? And what should we improve?
The question I must ask myself, though, is who is the artist here? My nose? Or the individual who acquired the booger and put it up for critique? Perhaps I should leave some advice for both.
To the individual who acquired the booger: A+ for effort and attitude. Even though you kind of knew what to expect, you went for it anyway just to get that feedback, and that's good form. It might have been better to wait until circumstances could help you provide a better specimen, but at least you didn't go for the earwax, or somebody else's booger. The presentation was almost OK, too. And that's probably where I could suggest some improvement. Use a better camera. I'm sure our readers are relieved that the fuzziness of the photo saves them from having to see every little detail of the monster, but for the sake of thoroughness we should have the best quality material to work with, even if it's for something as humble as a small glob of snot. Next time, let Gaussian blur take care of our readership. Keep up the good work!
To my nose: Hey, I can breath out of both nostrils, and that's really the important thing! But if your goal at any point is to entertain me while I'm bored, or to provide an interesting sensation, let's see what you can produce after breathing some Chinese five spice for a while. Seriously though, I'm really happy that you've been laying off the nasal infections lately. Those things are nasty.
Posted by Fenmere
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